The beginning

 

   On the 18th, it will be exactly four years since this medical debacle started. Such a precise date feels really strange, especially considering I never had a dramatic injury or fall or anything. I just came home from work one night, and was hit with a deep, intense pain in my lower right pelvis. Kind of by my hip bone. Figuring it would go away once I curled up and rested, I wasn't too worried.

     However, after a few hours in bed with the cat, it was still steadily hurting me. Since the pain was on the appendix side of my body, and it was pretty late in the evening, Jax insisted we take a trip to the ER. After blood tests (I have the crappiest veins ever, so I got poked 4 times), urine tests, and being asked a million times about the possibility of pregnancy or STDs, they brought out the big guns.

"The contrast is going to make you feel like  you're peeing your pants. Don't worry- you won't really!"

The CT scan was quick, and the contrast really does make you feel like you're peeing all over the CT machine. The forewarning was much appreciated.

"I'm sorry, I have to ask you this: are you a virgin?"

"Uhhhhhh....no.."

"I'm sorry, it's just an invasive test, and we have to ask if you've had penetrative intercourse before."

     The joys of Catholic hospitals. To this day I wonder what exactly they would have done if I'd said I was a virgin. Would they just not give me the diagnostic test I needed to protect my oh so precious virtue?

     At any rate, the trans-vaginal ultrasound was not the most pleasant thing, but showed that the cysts on my ovaries were too small to be causing my pain. In fact, all the tests said I was pretty much fine. Except, you know, the crippling pain.

     Eventually they gave me some IV medication, and told me to return if I didn't improve, or got worse. Exhausted, and in my case covered in needle holes, Jax drive through McDonald's (we hadn't really eaten after I'd returned from work) and went home, trying not to wake our roommate as we stumbled in.

     Four years later, the differences in my life are striking. When all this started, I had a job, we had an apartment, a cat, were newly engaged, had savings, still danced or did Pilates whenever I could...

     Now I've lost the job, then the apartment. Our poor sweet kitty passed away. I'm in medical debt, and can barely walk straight, let alone dance. We did get married, which was lovely. That night- which feels like a lifetime ago now- I had no idea that after that day, I would be in constant pain from then on. That was the last day I had moments without pain. I kind of wish I'd appreciated it more.